Todd McFarlane has already conquered the world of comics, but he has his sights set on a new goal: destroying the Earth’s climate and hastening the demise of the human race via NFTs. McFarlane and Steve Aoki’s new NFT platform, Oddkey.com, opens for official business today, May 16th, at 6PM PST, allowing sucke– er, NFT owners to list their second-hand “Spawnoki” NFTs for sale on the site to like-minded idio– uhh, investors The ponz– we mean, NFT distribution plan will then kick into high gear on Wednesday, May 18th, at 11AM PST when McFarlane drops what the press release claims is the first-ever digital art for sale by McFarlane and the first Spawn art by McFarlane available for sale in 30 years. Who needs the Amazon rainforest when you’ve got these amazing Spawn jpegs? What’s a little more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere compared to that? Learn to breathe something else, you philistines!
The timing for the launch of OddKey.com is perfect. What better time to get into NFTs than right after the entire market crashed as people realized that maybe paying thousands of dollars to own jpegs that you can right-click save for free isn’t the galaxy-brained investment idea some thought it was? It’s like getting in on the ground floor because every floor is the ground floor because the whole building fell down. How can you resist?!
Okay, we hear you. You didn’t come to this article to listen to us relentlessly mock NFTs just because they’re stupid, an obvious scam, and contributing to the destruction of the planet. You want more info about how you can pay real money for these fake assets. Here’s what you need to know. See that cover image for Spawn #301 above? On Wednesday, that NFT will be available for purchase on OddKey.com. Only 500 copies will be available unless you count the one I just right-clicked and saved above. So 501. Hey, stop that! Okay, 502. And 50 of these bad boys will have “individual hand-written signatures recorded and generated” for them. Wow! Even rarer, three of the NFTs will also contain “a small drawing done by legendary artist McFarlane himself.”
If you’ve read all of this and you’re thinking, “where do I sign up,” you’re not alone. As PT Barnum once allegedly said of cryptobronies: “there’s one born every minute.” So head over to OddKey.com for more info, and then head to Twitter afterward to shout into the void about how we don’t understand crypto and all its amazing benefits for society.
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